Taking a break

* this is multiple rants and I decided to not spend the time editing it more than for spelling to keep my mindset over the past 3 weeks intact. Enjoy my all over the place thoughts =)

I haven't blogged in a LONG time, so Im more than due(especially since I started this blog and then got frustrated that it wasn't coming together and had to start it again 2weeks after). This past Saturday(Saturdays ago now) I did a boxing match with radio DJ/Ex skateboarder Jason Ellis for his event EllisMania in Vegas. I lost. Now, Ive lost my last 3 MMA bouts and now have lost a boxing match. Usually Im very upset and take losing VERY hard, but this time I just feel like I need to step away from fighting. Is this me retiring ? No(even though some stupid MMA sites & my Wikipedia say otherwise). I am however taking a long break from any type of fighting competition. 

My last 2 fights in the UFC, I was dealing with an injury that I ended up getting surgery for. I immediately started training to fight 3 weeks after my surgery was completed. I felt driven to fight, but for no other reason than I wanted to show people  that I could. Instead of doing it for myself like I always did, I started being concerned about other peoples impression of me.  So, I took a fight as quickly as I could, which was just a poor decision.

Between my surgery and many other things happening in my life, I know now, that I just shouldnt have been fighting, so now I will take the break that I should have

I have never thought I was the best fighter in the world, but I always wanted to test myself. In doing so, I also lost track of that test. 

When I reflect back when I went on my 6 fight win streak. I wanted to fight and really enjoyed the push. I had the intention of getting back to the UFC, but I didnt care if it came or not. By the time I got the chance to fight again, I was dealing with a serious back injury and I really should have focused on fixing that, but I couldnt NOT take the opportunity. 

On the fight with Ellis. I like Jason and we spent a good amount of time building up the fight. Not Chael Sonnen building, but building non the less. The day of the fight, I did NOT want to be there. This is a normal feeling, but it got worse not better. By fight time, my head was completely some where else. I was flat and fighting to upright. I felt ellis was getting more shots in and was boxing better than he has in the past. That being said, he dropped me at the end of the second round. I got back up, but it was called a KO. Strange that I wouldn't get a count in  & it would be a ko in a show called ELLISMANIA against Jason ellis.*On another note, Ellis made a big deal about us using the same equipment and that the gloves/headgear would be the same. He walked in with COMPLETELY DIFFERENT headgear and gloves than I had. He also made a huge deal about watching me wrap my hands and then didn't allow me to watch him wrap his. Very suspect. But I digress. This was just an exhibition and I made the same money either way, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth and even more than that, made me realize I just need a break from any type of competition. 

* People seem to think Im saying that ellis would not have won the fight if these things had not transpired. No, Ellis would have beaten me if it was  ruled a knock down and if there was nothing strange about the gloves, headgear and wraps. 

With all those rants being said, I am NOT RETIRED. I am however taking a break. I will still train because I enjoy it. I WILL fight again, but not for the time being. I want to thank everyone who has consistently  supported me. It means more than I could ever express with words.